


Christmas Season

by IAmAwesomeMe



Series: Modern Middle School AU [4]
Category: Anne of Green Gables - L. M. Montgomery, Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-04-28 20:35:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14457240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmAwesomeMe/pseuds/IAmAwesomeMe
Summary: Tis the season! It's all the adventures in Avonlea the two weeks without school





	1. Friday, December 19th

Anne stared longingly out the window. She didn’t have a seat close to the window, but she wanted one at that moment. In front of her, Mr. Phillips kept teaching the lesson, but no one was actually listening. It was Friday, the 19th of December and the last day of school for a little over 2 weeks. Who could bother learning on a occasion like that? Not to mention, outside there was so much snow, it was a real life winter wonderland. 

Anne tore off a corner of the page she was supposed to be taking notes on. On it, she wrote a message.

_Today at lunch: Snowball fight outside? It’s the perfect day._

She passed the note to Diana, who was sitting to her left. Diana read it and nodded enthusiastically. She wrote something down and passed it back to Anne.

_Great idea. I’ll tell everyone._

Anne observed as Diana sent a message on her phone and everyone’s phone buzz. They knew better than to turn on their ringer in class. Mr. Phillips would let you get away with literal murder in his class as long as you did it silently. Right now Billy was playing on his phone and not making any attempts to hide it under his desk. Anne looked back and noticed Gilbert was at least trying to take notes but just like Anne there was nothing on his page. He looked down and checked his phone, Anne kind of loved the curls on the top of his head. She smiled at the thought of running her fingers through those curls. Gilbert read the text then looked over at Diana, catching a glimpse of Anne’s dreamy smile. Embarrassed, Anne quickly turned back to Mr. Phillips. She tried to keep her eyes ahead and not look back to see how Gilbert was reacting to seeing her, if he even saw her. Did he see her? He probably didn’t, right? He must have not seen otherwise he would have yelled for joy at the sight of his affections returned. She put on her most serious face and slowly turned around. She looked and found the biggest grin across his face. It was the kind of smile you made after you just won a really long argument. She quickly looked back ahead, focusing on the writing on the black board. He obviously saw and was obviously happy about it. She was never going to live this down. She looked over at Josie, no doubt she was grinding delightfully at the prospect of telling the school all about Anne’s crush. Instead, Anne found Josie doodling in her notebook. She looked around the rest of the classroom, no one else was her paying attention either. Her reputation was preserved, at least for now.

Diana tapped her shoulder to get her attention. Diana showed Anne her phone. It was a text from Gilbert in response to Diana’s invitation.

_I look forward to beating you and Anne!_

Anne rolled her eyes. She asked for Diana’s phone and she gave it to her. She waved it at Gilbert, still smiling a ridiculous grin, telling him she has it now instead of Diana. She sent him a text.

_So we will be on opposing teams?_

Anne waited for a response and it came soon enough. Gilbert was a lot quicker texted then Anne.

_I was thinking it would be everyman for themselves but you and Diana would team up anyway because not even god could ever get you two to fight._

Anne laughed under her breath.

_You seem to have me down cold. Can you tell me what I’m thinking?_

Anne regretted the text as soon as she sent it. Diana was going to read this, she couldn’t be this flirty.

_You’re thinking about how Diana’s going to read these texts._

_Damn, how did you know?_

_The second you sent it you looked over at her with a really worried look on your face. It was easy._

Anne looked down and smiled. He really did know her. She wasn’t even going to try denying it anymore. Still, she had to end this as quickly as possible before some more accidental flirting.

_Deductions may be easy but beating me and Diana won’t be. See you out there!_

She sent it and handed the phone back to Diana. She looked ahead at Mr. Phillips and tried to concentrate. 

-

That lunch, everyone ate their lunch at record speed. They ran outside in their hats, gloves, its and coats, anything to keep them warm and cover their skin to stop them from being easy targets. It was freezing outside but the were all bundled up so they didn’t mind.

“We aren’t actually aloud to do snowball fights on the school ground so we are going to the forest a block down,” Gilbert explained, leading everyone over.

They walked over as pack. Gilbert was the leader, with Ruby, Josie and Tillie walking in a pair behind him. Charlie and Moody walked behind them and Anne walked with Diana behind them, arm in arm, bringing up the rear. Diana went to walk with Ruby and the other girls but Anne held her back, wanting to get as far away from Gilbert as possible.

“What’s with you?” Diana asked. “You are being abnormally quiet.”

Anne didn’t trust herself to speak, lest she reveal she had a crush on Gilbert. “I have not been,” Anne insisted.

“You’ve hardly said five words since we left school, why?” Diana pushed.

Anne considered her options. “Can I tell you something? A secret?”

“Of course,” Diana said.

“No, seriously. Not a normal secret. A secret secret. A take to your grave secret. A not even under torture will I reveal this secret. That kind of secret. Can you handle it?” Anne asked.

“I promise I can,” Diana swore, her right hand raised like she was taking the pledge of allegiance. “Can and will.”

Anne looked at her friend, still considering making something up as a fake secret to get Diana off her back. No, she could trust Diana. She pulled her friend close and whispered in a low voice: “I think I might have a crush on Gilbert.”

Diana’s eyes went wide in surprise. She looked like she wanted to yell and jump with joy, but held herself back and bit her lip. Still, she had this moment where it was almost like she was vibrating with excitement. 

Anne blushed in embarrassment. “I knew I shouldn’t have told you,” Anne said, pulling away from Diana.

“No, no, no, you should have,” Diana said hastily. “I’m sorry, I’ll stop. I was just so excited for you. How long have you known?”

“Since class today,” Anne answered. “I looked back at him and imagined running my hands through his hair.”  
Diana started vibrating with excitement again at this. “Oh, I’m so happy for you two! You are going to start dating, and get married, and have a million kids.”

“Stop it,” Anne told her, “I’m not going to actually act on it.”

“Why ever not?” Diana said. “You two are meant to be!”

“No,” Anne insisted. “Remember, Ruby still has a huge crush on him. The only reason why I was even accepted into the group in the first place was because I swore up and down that I’d never go out with him. If I ask him out I will be banished again for sure. No, I cannot under any circumstance tell Gilbert, Ruby or anyone else I have a crush. It would be the end of me, I know it. So you can’t tell anyone either. Promise me.” Anne said, extending her pinky.

“I promise,” Diana told her, pinky promising. 

“Hey girls, catchup” came a voice ahead of them. Apparently Anne and Diana had basically stopped walking since they were so caught up in discussing Anne’s new secret. They looked ahead, everyone else had already arrived at the park, and Gilbert himself was yelling back at them to hurry up. They ran over to where everyone was congregating on the edge of the forest.

“Now are we doing it every man for himself or teams?” Charlie asked.

“I vote every man for himself,” Gilbert said, eyeing Anne.

“I want teams,” Anne said. She didn’t want Gilbert pursuing her without some team mates.

“Me too,” Diana agreed, always happy to provide Anne backup.

“All those in favour of teams?” Gilbert asked, the natural leader. Anne, Diana, Ruby, Charlie, and Moody put up their hands. Only Gilbert, Ruby and Josie wanted to stay every man for himself. Gilbert accepted this small loss with dignity. “Who should be team captains?”

“You?” Charlie suggested.

Gilbert looked around at the nodding faces, and took his place ahead of everyone else. “Who else?”

Josie had a mischievous look in her eye. “Anne,” she suggested.

“No, I couldn’t possibly,” Anne said.

“All in favour?” Josie asked, ignoring Anne’s objection. Everyone raised their hand except Anne, Diana and Gilbert. “Gilbert?” Josie asked. 

“It’s not fair for me to help pick my opposing team’s captain,” he said neutrally.

“Either way, the motion passes,” Josie said, pushing Anne forward.

Anne reluctantly took her place beside Gilbert leaving a huge space between them. She did not trust herself to be close to Gilbert. They chose teams and went to the opposite ends of the forest. Anne had Diana, Charlie and Ruby. There wasn’t really a goal, but there were enemies. If you touching a certain pre-determined tree stump in the centre of the forest, you were “safe” and no one could hit you, but you could only stay there for 15 seconds and had to loudly count while you were there to make sure you weren’t staying too long. Anne’s team was right now making a whole bunch of snowballs to load up in their arms when they went out. The game would start in two minutes, based on the timer on Diana’s phone that was synced up with Gilbert’s phone.

“That’s enough,” Anne said. “I want to sneak up on them and ambush them as soon as the timer goes off.

Everyone loaded up their snowballs and went into the forest. They thought they would find Gilbert and his group huddled together making a plan at the opposite end of the forest. Instead, they meet them halfway through the forest, also sneaking around. The two opposing groups looked at each other quizzically. 

“What are you doing here?” Moody asked.

“We could ask you the same thing,” Diana answered.

“Great minds think alike,” Gilbert noted.

“What?” Anne was confused.

“You were planing to sneak up on us and surprise up, right?” Gilbert asked.

“…Yeah,” Anne said hesitantly.

“Great minds think alike,” Gilbert repeated.

Anne couldn’t help give a little giggle at this turn of events. “Well, what should we do now?” Anne asked.

“We could both go back or we could wait here and talk till the alarm goes off,” Gilbert said.

As much as Anne wanted nothing more than to talk with him, but knew how uncharacteristic it would be.

“Like I would ever want to talk to you,” Anne said. “Let’s go team.” She tried to ignore the hurt look on Gilbert’s face as she turned around and took her first few steps back. 

Just then, the alarm in Diana’s phone went off at the same time as Gilbert’s. It was time to play.

That exact second, Anne felt something hit the back of her neck, right on the exposed skin. It caught her off guard because she was looking at Diana’s pocket and she fell face forward into the snow. She pushed her up and twisted over till she was sitting upright. Ice cold water went down her spine as she looked over to find who threw it. Gilbert was in a pitcher’s stance. His face betrayed guilt, but Anne’s was full of rage.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I only went to hit your coat. I didn’t-”

He couldn’t say anything because he was hit in the face with Anne’s snowball. It got hit right in kisser and fell backwards. Anne thought it would make her feel better, or at least guilty, but the only thing Anne felt was more rage. She leapt to her feet and readied her fists as she walked over, preparing to fight Gilbert. Diana held her back, and so did Charlie. Ruby and Josie ran over to help Gilbert get up.

“I deserve that,” Gilbert said. “I totally deserve that.”

“That and a lot more,” Anne said, fighting again Diana and Charlie. “Let me go and I’ll give it to you.”

“No, Anne,” Diana said. “Cool off.”

“I’m sure beating Gil up will cool me off a lot,” Anne replied, pushing against Diana and Charlie so much Moody had to come and help. Moody and Charlie each grabbed an arm and pulled Anne away from where Gilbert was being fawned over by the other girls. Moody and Charlie dragged Anne away to the edge of the forrest with Diana. They let Anne go when she stopped kicking. They watched as she paced up and down, shouting curses at Gilbert’s name.

“The bastard!” she yelled. “I sure hope he’s good at running because if I find him I’m going to rip him a new one so hard his grandkids would feel it. Can you imagine it, the filthy back stabber. He should be hung and quartered in the town square, that’s what he deserves and no less. Or boiled alive in his own tears. That too. I swear, the only place he’s safe from my wrath is heaven and heaven alone because with the thoughts in my head, I’m certainly not being allowed in there.”

“You two should probably go back,” Diana said to Charlie and Moody. “This could take a while.”

“Ok,” Moody said.

“See you back there,” Charlie said and they both left. When they were out of earshot, they started talking about Anne. “Bit of a psycho,” Charlie started.

“Wouldn’t go out with that if you paid me,” Moody added.

“Gil would,” Charlie commented. “Gil would in a heartbeat.”

“Maybe not after what just happened,” Moody thought. “But who knows with that guy?”

“The two of them,” Charlie complained. “It’s like they’re red hot in love one minute, enemies the next.”

“To be fair, Gilbert is pretty consistently in love, it’s Anne that changes with the wind,” Moody countered. 

Charlie laughed at that, but couldn’t say anything else because they had arrived with the others. Ruby and Josie were fawning over Gilbert, who was sitting propped up against a tree. When he saw Moody and Charlie he stood up.

“Where is she?” he asked.

“By the edge of the forest,” Moody answered.

“Is she still mad?” Gilbert asked, concerned.

Moody and Charlie exchanged a look. “Yeah,” Charlie answered. “She’s still mad.”

Gilbert’s face fell. “I should go see her. Apologize.” Charlie and Moody watched Gilbert disappeared into the forest, shaking their head in amazement at their handsome friend’s thick skull.

Gilbert went through the forest, following his friends tracks through the snow. He was concerned about Anne. He didn’t want her hating him, but it was more than just a selfish need for validation. He never wanted her to be in distress, no matter who caused it. He approached the edge of the forest and heard Anne yelling.

“The idiot! The self-indulgent, meddling, horrible idiot! I can’t believe him. Hell, I can’t believe me. I especially can’t believe I had a crush on him!”

Crush? Gilbert was at the edge of the forest clearing, in plain view. He quickly dove behind a tree, he wanted to hear more. He knew something about the way she looked at him this morning was weird and different. He thought she had found out he had a crush on her, he could never in his wildest dreams thought she might actually like him.

“It was for like 2 hours,” Diana assured.

“Yeah, 2 hours of my life I wish I could get back!” Anne answered. “The worst two hours of my life. I actually imagined me running my hands through his stupid curls, kissing him. I can’t believe I was such a… such a… such a _girl_!”

“You are a girl,” Diana said.

“I am a girl, not a _girl_ ,” Anne pronounced the two girls differently, and Gilbert waited for Anne to explain herself. “A girl is a young woman. A girl is someone who paints her nails and listens to top 40s and fantasizes about boys. I do not fantasize about boys. Never have and never will, thank you very much.”

“But you did,” Diana said, “and it wasn’t that bad, right.”

“Wasn’t that bad? WASN’T THAT BAD!” Anne was yelling at Diana but Diana seemed mostly unfazed. She actually seemed sort of used to Anne yelling. “Look what I got because I was fantasizing about Gilbert instead of watching my back,” Anne turned around and showed Diana something that Gilbert couldn’t see because he was on the wrong side. “No, I will never again think about boys or Gilbert or his hair ever again. I will never have another crush, I can promise you that. Not till I’m 16, maybe even 18.”

Gilbert thought about that vow. He could wait till 16. Or 18. Or however long he had to because Anne was a girl worth waiting for. He would redeem himself in her eyes, however long it took. Right now, though, he had to stop accidentally spying on Anne. Quietly as he could, Gilbert kept back along the path a few feet. 

“Hey, Anne,” he yelled and jogged along the path and into the clearing, making it look like he was running the entire way there. 

Anne and Diana looked over at him. Anne turned around in a huff, crossing her arms and refusing to look at him. Diana smiled and nodded encouragingly at Gilbert, until Anne noticed and elbowed her. Gilbert stood a few feet away from Anne, giving her plenty of space as he apologized.

“Listen, Anne, I’m really sorry,” Gilbert started. “It was immature of me, and I wished I could take it back. I wish I could redo the entire thing and not throw the snowball. You don’t get how much I regret it. As much as you hate me right now, I promise you I hate myself more because I’m the one causing you this much pain.”

“You underestimate how deep my hatred can run,” Anne said, turing around partly and eyeing Gilbert under the corner of her eye.

“I know you,” Gilbert assured her. “I know how you feel. Not exactly, but I can imagine and empathize. I’m so sorry for causing you to feel this way. What can I do to make it up?”

Anne’s expression softened as she saw Gilbert’s genuine remorse. She softly smiled.

“You don’t need to do anything,” she assured him. “Let’s get back to the game.”

“I’d love to,” Gilbert said. 

Gilbert and Anne walked back to the group side by side. Gilbert noticed out of the corner of his eye Diana, practically jumping with joy at the sight of them together. Not yet Diana, Gilbert thought.

As they walked, Gilbert tried to get a look at the back of Anne’s neck to see what she showed Diana. It was impossible to bring it up naturally, though, and he couldn’t exactly explain why he knew it was there. He kept nervously glancing at her but couldn’t find a way to get a good look. When they got back to the main group, everyone cheered.

“So here’s the plan,” Gilbert said. “We forget about the three minute head-start. It was a bad idea to start off with. We just get into a circle and everyone counts down from 10 together. As a penalty, I am not allowed to throw a snow ball for the first thirty seconds, making me a prime target.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Anne said.

“Yes, I do,” Gilbert insisted. “Everyone circle up and remember that we are trying to play a clean, fun game. No bullying or tears, just fun and games. Alright?”  
Everyone nodded along and got into a circle. Anne and Gilbert were next to each other and started the countdown together. 

“10, 9,” they said together and everyone joined in. 

“8, 7,” everyone chorused as Anne knelt down to make a snowball to start the game with.

“6, 5,” they cheered as Gilbert noticed an angry, red welt on the back of Anne’s neck. His baseball pitcher always said he had a fast pitch.

“4,” they continued, but Gilbert interrupted them.

“Wait, wait, hold up,” he yelled, throwing his hands up to stop them. Everyone stopped and looked at him strangely. “There’s on more thing,” he said, taking off his scarf. He walked over to Anne and wrapped it around her neck delicately. “I want to make sure you don’t have any more chinks in your armour,” he said, covering up the patch of skin he had previously used as target practice.

“Won’t this leave a chink in yours?” Anne asked.

“I’ll make do,” Gilbert said, turning up the collar on his coat.

“You look like Benedict Cumberbatch,” Anne noted, blushing ever so slightly. 

It was probably just the cold, Gilbert told himself, not wanting to get his hopes up. “As Sherlock or Doctor Strange?”

“Since I’ve never seen Doctor Strange, Sherlock,” Anne replied.

“You’ve never seen Doctor Strange?” Gilbert was shocked. “Oh, I have so much to teach you about the MCU.”

“Can you do this some other time?” Moody asked. “We want to throw snow at people!”

“Right,” Gilbert said. “Count of 3. 3,” he started as everyone readied their snowballs. “2,” he continued, as everyone eyed everyone in the circle, seeing who they will throw it to. Gilbert noticed Anne eyeing Gilbert but then deciding Moody was a better target. Gilbert also noticed Diana eyeing him. As was Ruby. I guess having no snowball to throw back at them made him an easy target. “1!” he yelled, as seven snowballs took flight. One hit him in the leg, another scraped his shoulder, but the most surprising one hit him in the side. He turned to find a grinning Anne without a snowball. Smiling, Gilbert went to make one himself to get her back. 

“Hey, 30 seconds!” Anne objected.

“You said I didn’t need to!” Gilbert objected.

“So what?” Anne said, throwing another snowball at Gilbert. Gilbert tried to swerve or block with his body the best he could but it still hit his thigh. Smiling, he ran away but Anne gave chase. 

They ran through the forest, Anne aiming as Gilbert tried to doge the best he could. Anne had pretty good aim, but Gilbert was fast and Anne ended up hitting a few trees. Eventually, Gilbert got tired and hid behind a tree. Anne came over and stood on the opposite side of the tree. They ducked on either side, trying to avoid each other. They both collapsed, leaning on the tree for support. 

“Where do you think everyone else went?” Anne asked.

“Couldn’t keep up?” Gilbert suggested.

“Probably,” Anne agreed, closing her eyes breathing deeply so she could catch her breath. 

“You know, I think my 30 seconds are up,” Gilbert said.

“Yeah? So?” Anne said, still with her eyes close, leaning against the tree.

“So?” Gilbert’s voice was a lot closer now, and Anne looked up to see Gilbert standing over her with a snowball. “So, look out!” 

Anne ducked and ran away as the snowball hit the place where her head was. They continued to run through the forest, chasing each other instead of just Anne chasing Gilbert. Anne would be running one minute and running after Gilbert the next. It was a give and take, a shared relationship, and it was beautiful. Anne doubted either of them were running at full speed, wanting to stay in this game forever and not burn out too quickly. 

Eventually, they made their way out of the forest and back to the field where Anne yelled at Diana. Gilbert was getting worn out, Anne was fast and had excellent endurance. He wondered how she would do at track and field that summer.

Anne noticed Gilbert wasn’t throwing as far as before. Was he getting tired? Already? She observed him carefully, like a lion about to take down her prey. She saw her chance when he lost his hat in the snow and had to bend die and pick it up. He was distracted and she took full advantage. She ran forward with a sudden burst of speed and tackled him. She took him down like he was made of straw.

He lay on his back in the snow as Anne sat on top of him. She held down his arm so he couldn’t get out. He smiled up at her, kinda enjoying this angle.

“Gotcha,” she whispered playfully, leaning down till they were nose to nose. She liked her place, mounted on him like a horse and he enjoyed it too, he couldn’t stop his smile. That kinda goofy but mostly cute smile that went with his curls.

“It appears you have,” Gilbert admitted happily. “Now, what must I give you to get out?” Maybe a kiss, Gilbert thought to himself.

I would really enjoy a kiss, Anne thought. “You have to admit that I’m better than you in every conceivable way,” Anne said instead.

“I have no problem admitting what is already true,” Gilbert said, causing Anne to throw her head back laughing and let go off Gilbert’s arms. “Are you sure you don’t want something a bit harder to give up?” He was hinting towards the kiss.

Anne crossed her arms. “Well, there is one thing I want from you,” she said flirtatiously, leaning down again with one hand on his chest.

“Yeah?” Gilbert asked flirtatiously, encouraging her.

“It’s a pretty big thing,” Anne admitted.

“What is it?” Gilbert wanted her to say a kiss so much.

Anne opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, someone yelled “Anne! What are you doing!”

Anne sat bolt upright. “Marilla!” she exclaimed, dismounting from Gilbert and standing up straight. Gilbert followed her lead, and saw Marilla and Rachel Lynde observing the two of them. 

“What are you doing with that boy?” Marilla asked again.

“I believe that’s the young Gilbert Blyth,” Rachel added.

“I know that,” Marilla told her friend, “I want to know what my foster daughter was doing straddling him like they are on Game of Thrones.”

“We were just playing,” Anne said, walking over to them so Marilla didn’t have to shout so loud. Gilbert followed her lead. 

“What game? Seven minutes in heaven?” Marilla asked.

Gilbert wanted to point out that seven minutes in heaven was usually in a closet, but thought it better to hold his tongue.

“It was a snowball fight, I just won,” Anne told her.

“That is not dignified,” Marilla said. “It is not how ladies are meant to behave.”

“It really was nothing,” Anne insisted. “We were just playing around.”

“You were straddling him!” Marilla retorted.

“I actually enjoyed it,” Gilbert said. It didn’t help the situation and Anne stepped on his toes.

Marilla rolled her eyes at how blasphemous her daughter was being right now. “We will talk about this later at home,” Marilla said through pursed lips. Rachel eyed the two of them, smiling. Not quiet a Diana smile, but a more dignified version. She wondered how many people she would tell, she was the Avonlea queen of gossip. Hopefully she would keep the secret for as long as she could for Marilla’s sake, but that might only be 2 days or so. Marilla and Rachel walked away, going wherever they were going before they were interrupted by Anne and Gilbert. Gilbert observed Anne as she observed Marilla walk away. When Marilla was out of eyesight, Anne let out a huge sigh. She had been holding her breath. Now she looked down sadly and walked back to the forest, lost in thought.

“Y’know it could have been worst,” Gilbert said.

“How?” Anne asked. “I’m genuinely asking, that is not a rhetorical question. Who could it have possibly been any worst?”

Gilbert hadn’t actually come up with a reason when he said that. He thought for a moment. “They could have arrived after you asked me to kissed you,” Gilbert suggested.

Anne laughed at that. “I was not going to ask you to kiss me,” Anne insisted. 

“Then what, pray tell, was I going to do to get out?” Gilbert asked.

Anne was totally going to ask him to kiss her, so she quickly scrambled for something else to make him do. “I was going to make you promise to shovel my driveway.”

“Damn, is that an innuendo?” Gilbert joked.

“No!” Anne insisted, blushing. “I will have to shovel the driveway tonight and it’s easier to do it with a partner.”

“Well in that case, I’d be happy to help,” Gilbert offered.

“No, I let you go, any favour you might have done for me is null and void,” Anne told him.

“I’d be happy to help,” Gilbert insisted.

“No, don’t,” Anne insisted. “You’ve already done a lot for me.”

“Like what?” Gilbert asked.

“Like coming over every Wednesday. I really appreciated it.” 

They reached the edge of the forest and stopped. They turned and looked over at each other, long and deeply. They felt like they could stand like that forever, just looking at each other. Gilbert wondered if he should kiss her. He wanted to, but he didn’t want to scare her away like Diana told him he would if he moved too quickly. So he just stared at her, looking down at her lips, wanting them to be around his.

While all this was happening, Diana and Ruby were sneaking up on the edge of the cliff. No one had seen Anne or Gilbert since they started the game. Charlie had insisted they were somewhere making out, Ruby insisted Anne would never do that. Ruby and Diana wanted to go off and find them, Charlie didn’t care enough and wanted to keep playing the game. So there they were, stumbling upon Gilbert and Anne. They weren’t making out, they were just staring at each other. Gilbert had his back to them, but if his face was anything like Anne’s it was full of love and caring. Ruby was going to go over, but Diana had a better idea. In theme with that afternoon, she made a snowball. She sent it over to Gilbert and it hit him in the back causing him to trip forward, right onto Anne’s lips.

Diana and Ruby stared in shock. Anne was in shock too. When she came to her senses she pushed Gilbert away. He fell down onto his but.

“I’m… I’m not. I didn’t-” he tried to say, but Anne wouldn’t hear it.

“HOW DARE YOU, GILBERT BLYTHE!” Anne positively screeched. “I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO OFFENDED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!”

Diana and Ruby ran over to Anne, trying to calm her down.

“DIANA!” Anne yelled as soon as she saw her friend. “YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THE GRAVE INJUSTICE COMMITTED AGAINST ME BY THIS HORRIBLE, SLIPPERY, MANIPULATIVE SNAKE!”

“Anne, it wasn’t him,” Diana tried to calm her down.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN?” Anne asked, still yelling.

“I threw a snowball and it hit him in the back, pushing him onto you,” Diana explained. “It wasn’t his fault at all.”

“IT WASN’T HIS… It wasn’t his fault?” Anne was mystified. “What do you mean?”  
“It was my fault,” Diana explained.

Anne’s yelling had started to draw the other players from the woods. They stared at the odd scene before them. 

“Oh,” Anne said. She paused for a moment, her mind racing. She thought about the seconds right as he fell on her lips. She thought about how happy she was that he actually wanted to kiss her, actually wanted to have her. Then her mind went back to Marilla and how horrible it would be to be found like this. She would be cast out of her family and ostracized by the town. She couldn’t live with that. She pushed him away, she had to. Now, he might not have wanted her after all. She didn’t know how to deal with this. She looked over at Gilbert, sitting in the snow. He looked up at her like… She didn’t know how to describe it. Like he worshiped her. Like he was disappointed by her. Like he couldn’t believe what was happening. It was too much, she looked away.

“I’m sorry Gil,” she said. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“Anne,” he started to get up but she wouldn’t have it. She ran back to school, her feet flying on the snowy ground. She ran all the way up to the class where she slammed the door behind her. There was no one else in the room, and the thought of finally being alone over took her. She broke down crying, her back against the door.

She had so many questions. Was that her first kiss? Did it count if it was for a second and by accident? Did Gilbert count it as his first kiss? He probably didn’t he probably kissed before. He looks like the kind of guy who kissed girls before. Did he even count her as a kiss? Was she just another notch on his belt? An accidental notch, but still. How was she supposed to look him in the eye now? She had stopped crying so she went back to her desk. She put her coat on the back of her chair and took off her mittens, hat, and scarf. Gilbert’s scarf. She held it up to her nose and took a deep sniff. It still smelled like him. She broke down again, using her sleeve as a kneeled because she didn’t want to ruin Gilbert’s precious scarf. She wiped the tears away, but knew her eyes were red. She went through Diana’s bag, looking for a mirror that she could use. She couldn’t find any so she went outside to use the washroom. 

She stared at herself in the mirror. Since she came to Avonlea, she cared less about how she looked. It way seem counter-intuative, but it was the truth. As a busker, they only gave money to the most beautiful girls, so you were always very conscious of your appearance. Now, Anne noticed that she had fewer freckles than normal. It was the winter, so it was normal. Her freckles came out in the sun, so Anne was the most freckly in the summer. Anne liked the winter because of this, but preferred the summer weather. She stared at her reflection some more, analyzing every inch of her face. She frowned, unhappy with her appearance. It seemed the longer she stared at herself, the more unhappy she became. She looked away, wondering how she could have ever thought Gilbert, or anyone for that matter, could want to kiss her with a face like that. 

Anne made her way back to the class and took her seat, still alone. She got Jane Austen’s book out of her bag and emerged herself in Elizabeth Bennet’s and Mr. Darcy’s romance instead of her own problems. Mr. Phillips came in ten minutes before class was supposed to start. He looked around the empty room.

“Where is everyone?” Mr. Phillips asked.

“Snowball fight in the forest nearby,” Anne explained. “At least my friends. Billy and the others, I don’t know.”

“They know you’re here this time, right?” Mr. Phillips wondered, remembering the last time Anne was the only one in the class.

“Yes,” Anne said. “At least, I’m pretty sure.”

Mr. Phillips looked at her quizzically, then he opened his desk drawer and took out a book of his own. The two read in silence. Anne kept an eye on the clock. At around five minutes left before class was supposed to start, Billy and the rest of his gang came in. Anne eyed the clock nervously. She didn’t want Diana or anyone else to be late because of her. Around 2 minutes left, everyone else came in. They had smiles on their faces like they enjoyed the rest of the snowball fight, but glanced nervously at Anne, not wanting to upset her. 

Gilbert came in last, he was dragging his heels the entire way. When he caught sight of Anne, he knew why. She was still hurt from their… whatever it was. Was it a kiss? He wanted it to be a kiss because he wanted to kiss Anne, but he didn’t want their first kiss to be this distressing for Anne. 

Gilbert paused there, at the front of the class. He looked down at Anne sitting at her desk, looking down at her book trying not to think about the boy looking down at her. The entire class held it’s breath, watching these two. Even Mr. Phillips and Billy’s gang who didn’t even get what was going on watched intensely. 

Eventually, Anne looked up. She stared at Gilbert and he stared back. 

“Anne,” he started.

“Stop it,” Anne said abruptly, looking down again. “Just… go take your seat. Forget… Forget everything.”

“I don’t want to forget,” Gilbert admitted. “Not if it was your first-”

“It wasn’t” Anne lied. “And it wasn’t even a kiss. You tripped and I caught you. That’s it. Take your seat.”

“Anne,” Gilbert pleaded.

“Take. Your. Seat.” Anne spoke in measured words, afraid to show emotion.

“As you wish,” he said, taking his seat. He wondered if she got his Princess Bride reference. He also wondered who her first kiss was. Was it Cole? It was probably Cole. 

Mr. Phillips went back to teaching about… something. No one was paying attention. Gilbert looked down at his phone.

_Can you pass the phone to Anne?_

Gilbert sent it to Diana, and waited as Diana texted him back.

_No. It’s good to just give her some space._

Gilbert sighed. He wanted to run to her and apologize but if there was anything he learned from this whole ordeal, Diana was right. Anne needed her space. Moving too quickly was a death sentence.

_I’ll stay away. Will you tell me the second I can talk to her again?_

_OK._

_Thanks._

Gilbert turned back to Temple Run 2 and didn’t pay attention to Mr. Phillips. To be fair, Mr. Phillips gave up on even trying to teach the class and turned on a movie.

-

That afternoon, everyone exchanged presents in the last half hour of class. It was a yearly tradition that the teacher stopped teaching and let them exchange presents. Everyone got their presents from inside their backpacks. A few people actually had to bring second bags to hold all of them. You didn’t have to bring presents for the entire class, just your closest friends. Gilbert, Charlie, and Moody sat together and exchanged presents. He got a new Marvel t-shirt from Charlie and Moody gave him a book called “100 Ways to Get the Girl.” Gilbert looked at it quizzically.

“I thought…” Moody glanced over to where Anne was giving out her presents to all her friends. “I can get you something else.”

“No, it’s great,” Gilbert said. Moody and Charlie exchanged gifts then Gilbert distributed his. Charlie and Moody loved their gifts, and Gilbert glanced down at his bag. There were two more gifts. Anne’s and Diana’s. He didn’t know what to do with them and glanced back at Anne. 

Anne looked well enough. She had a small pile of gifts around her and everyone was thanking her for their gifts. Well, everyone except Josie but not for the normal reasons. Josie was too busy reading Anne’s gift. Josie had a bunch of gift cards, Anne was the only one who actually gave her a physical gift. 

Anne laughed at Ruby’s joke. She was basically back to her old self, Gilbert thought. Could he talk to her now? He got out his phone and texted Diana.

_Can I talk to her now?_

Diana looked at her phone, than nodded back at Gilbert. Gilbert took the two presents out of the bag, took a deep breath, and walked over.

“Hey,” he said. All the girls glanced over to him. Anne looked at him and the smile drained from her face. She didn’t look away, though, and Gilbert took that as a good sign. “I got gifts,” he announced. “Diana, a little birdie told me you would appreciate this.” Diana smiled as she opened a pearl necklace. “It’s like the one from Riverdale,” Gilbert told her.

“It’s lovely,” Diana said.

“And Anne?” Gilbert turned to her. “This is for you.” Anne carefully opened her present to reveal a beautiful, old, leather-bound copy of Jane Eyre. “I found it at this amazing old book store in Montague. I thought you’d love it.”

“It’s beautiful,” Anne said, staring down at it. She held it like it was a delicate bird, treasuring it.

“I’m glad you like it. It’s actually the first of three presents,” Gilbert told her. He worked up the courage before asking his next question. “Anne, can we talk?”

Anne took a deep breath. She knew she had to get this  over with at some point, now seemed as good a time as any. “Yeah. OK. Do you want to talk in private?”

“No. I’m fine right here if you are.” Gilbert took a deep breath. “I actually have been thinking about this for a while so I’m sorry if it’s more of a monologue than a conversation. We’ve been doing this thing where we are friends, but there are also these moments of more. Like, we look into each other’s eyes and, I’m not sure if you feel this, but I feel like we could be more. Like we could be kissing, or dating, or in love. We could be so much more than what we are now. But those moments are confusing. They muddy the water so now I have a hard time thinking about you because I can’t stop thinking about the more moments. I think we should decide right now to stop. From this moment on, we are just friends, nothing more. Platonic friends, that’s it. What do you think?”

Anne thought about what he said. She did feel the more moments. She felt them, but she wanted them too. She liked them. She liked indulging in her brief fantasies. She also agreed that those moments were very confusing. Most of her fantasies were dedicated to impossibilities. Hogwarts, and time travel, and Cordelia took up most of her dreams and she enjoyed it because she knew it was impossible. Gilbert? Gilbert was a fantasy, a dream, but a dream grounded in reality. It was confusing. It was messy. She agreed, just being friends was a lot simpler. As much as she wanted her fantasy, it was as unlikely as dragons. She had to accept that. “You’re right,” she said. “We should just be friends.” 

Gilbert extended his hand. “Friends,” he said, and they shook on it.

Gilbert wanted to go back to his seat, but Anne stopped him. “Wait,” she said. “I should give you this.” She reached into her bag and handed Gilbert a gift. “This is for you,” she said.

Gilbert opened it and it was a jigsaw puzzle. It was of crowded street in downtown Charlottetown.

“I remember that street,” Gilbert said. “I must have walked down it at some point.”

“It’s my street,” Anne told him. Gilbert looked at her, wanting more of an explanation. “It’s the street where I lived while I was on the street.”

Gilbert looked at her, understanding. The gift wasn’t just the puzzle, it was also the little bit of information about Anne’s past. Gilbert was entranced with Anne’s mysterious history. 

“I have so many questions,” Gilbert said.

“You get one,” Anne informed him. “Normal rules.”

“Ok,” Gilbert thought hard. “I should really make a list of all my question so I’m more prepared next time. Ummm… When is your birthday?” Gilbert couldn’t think of a better solo question.

“I’m not answering that,” Anne said. “Pick a different question.”

Gilbert wanted to ask why he can’t know her birthday, but decided not to press it. For now, at least. “How did you pick this gift?” he asked instead.

“I knew I wanted to get you a jigsaw puzzle, but originally I had a landscape chosen. Then I saw that in the store yesterday and was just flooded with memories. I knew I had to get that one for you. It was much more… personal.”

“Thank you,” Gilbert said. 

“Don’t mention it, friend,” Anne said, reminding Gilbert of their recent pledge to be just friends. 

Gilbert nodded and went back to his seat, regretting his new just friends policy, but knowing it was for the best. He knew how torturous it was for her to be in this weird in-between. He would do anything for her, including promising to never be with her. He took himself off the market to ease her mind. He would stick to it, too. He wouldn’t let his heart go into his eyes, no matter how much it was bursting from his chest. He would hide his feelings, no matter how much it hurt.

All around the class, they were done trading presents. They were just talking now, and it was boring. 

“Can we actually do something?” Josie asked, complaining. There was still half an hour left of class and nothing to do.

“Why not play a game?” Anne suggested. 

“7-up?” Diana suggested.

“Not enough people,” Moody said. Their class was small. Gilbert’s friends, Anne’s group, Billy and his pals as well as a few others and that was about it. 15 people total. You needed at least 20 or so for 7-up so you needed to combine with the younger classes.

“What about Mafia?” Gilbert suggested.

“Yes! Dibs on God!” Ruby said.

“You were God last time,” Josie complained. “I want to be God.”

“Fine, you can be God,” Ruby conceded. “But make the murder stories actually interesting this time.” 

They all got in a circle, sitting on chairs and desks and they extended their hands. Josie was in the centre, deciding on two Mafias, an Angle, and a Detective. They played the rest of the afternoon. Josie’s stories were a bit more interesting than normal, but still pretty bland. Then it was Ruby, who’s stories started interesting enough but then she got bored and made them really short. Then everyone wanted Anne to be in the centre. She had by far the best storytelling ability. This proved to be a disadvantage because as interesting as they were, Anne was only able to get through two before the bell rang. Anne was so enchanting, they had completely ignored the clock. While she was telling her story, Gilbert tried noticing the faces of his classmates. They were also enchanted with her. After the bell rang, a bunch of people went over to congratulate her, making both Gilbert and Anne smile. After everyone packed their bags, Anne left with Diana and for once Gilbert didn’t follow her with his eyes. Mostly because he’s already seen it a hundred times before, though he told himself it was because he didn’t see Anne that way. They were friends, he insisted, that’s how he’ll treat her.


	2. Saturday, December 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a lot of stuff's happened this weekend. There was this insta thing, a friend thing, and a family thing all in the span of like two days. Any one of those things would have been a lot but all three at once was kinda too much to handle. I cried a lot and lots so many hours of sleep. I also created this, but it's weird so I don't know how you are all going to react to it. It's kinda a new style of writing, what do you think? I also want future stories to kind of drift away from strictly shirbert and talk more about other people in the town, but wasn't really done with them yet. I still have plans for shirbert but I also have plans for Jerry and Diana and everyone else.

Gilbert knocked firmly on the door. He examined the wreath on the door as he waited for an answer. The door opened to reveal Charlie’s mom.

“Hello, Mrs. Sloan,” Gilbert greeted her.

“The boys are upstairs,” she told him, welcoming him into her home. He was basically her son. They spent so much time together, Charlie, Moody, and he were like brothers.

Gilbert took off his shoes, set down his backpack and ran upstairs, going straight to Charlie’s room. Charlie and Moody were already playing Fortnight. There was a bowl of chips between them and two open cans of Coke and an unopened third one waiting for him. Charlie and Moody glanced up at him and nodded in welcome before going back to playing. 

Gilbert took the other seat. “Hey,”  Gilbert said.

“Hey,” Charlie and Moody returned.

“Good game?” Gilbert asked.

“Yeah,” Charlie said. “You bring your skates?”

“Yeah,” Gilbert answered.

“Cool. We’ll go outside after this,” Charlie informed him.

“Charlie, Charlie, incoming!” Moody told him, drawing him back into the game.

Gilbert waited for them to finish, sipping his Coke.

-

“So are we going to talk about it?” Diana asked.

“Talk about what?” Anne asked.

“Yesterday,” Diana said. “The kiss that wasn’t a kiss.”

“It wasn’t a kiss,” Anne corrected.

“I said it wasn’t a kiss,” Diana agreed, though she obviously still thought it was. “Are we going to talk about it?”

“You shouldn’t be rolling it too thin,” Anne told Diana, avoiding the question. Anne and Diana were in the Barry’s family kitchen making christmas cookies. The ice box cookies were in the fridge, they were right now rolling out the sugar cookies that they would decorate later, and after this it was chocolate chip. 

“You’re avoiding the question,” Diana objected, folding over the dough before going back over it with the rolling pin.”

“There’s really nothing to talk about,” Anne insisted.

“You know that’s not true,” Diana told her. “C’mon. I’m not asking for you to explain everything, I’m just saying that if you need a friend or sounding board I’m here.”

Anne sighed and look over to Diana. “I’m only opening up to you because you know not to share this information under the treat of death.”

“Deal,” Diana said.

-

“So how’ve you been?” Moody asked as they all did up their skates on the bench by Charlie’s backdoor skating rink. 

“Fine, I guess,” Gilbert answered, a bit weirded out by the question. “Why are you asking me that? We see each other everyday, you’d know if something were off.”

“We just mean about the whole Anne thing,” Charlie said. “We weren’t able to see you yesterday after school, we wonder how you’re holding up.”

“I’m fine,” Gilbert told them, finishing lacing up his skates and going out onto the ice.

“You sure?” Moody pushed. “You really liked the girl.”

“Anne, and I’m fine,” Gilbert insisted. “Great, even. I made an amazing friend yesterday.”  
“You got friendzoned yesterday,” Charlie responded.

“Hey, friendzone doesn’t exist it’s just used by men as an excuse for being able to be close with women without viewing them as sexual objects,” Gilbert objected. He tried to be feminist any way he could and serve as an ally to anyone who needs it. He knows that as a straight, cis, white man he is awarded a lot of privileges so he tried to check his privileges and those of his close friends whenever he could. “Besides, I was the one who asked to only be friends.”

“But is it what you want?” Charlie asked, causing Gilbert to falter.

-

“I’ll admit that when Gilbert started his speech I thought it would go a different way,” Anne explained. “He talked about feeling these moments of more, which I also felt. He talked about wanting more, wanting to kiss and date and be in love, which I also want. I really thought it was his way of asking me out. Then he didn’t and I was kind of disappointed. But it’s what he wanted so I wasn’t really in much of a place to object. He had clearly made his decision, there’s no point muddying the water now. No, we will just be friends. It’s what he wants.”

-

“Of course it isn’t what I want,” Gilbert told his two friends, “but it’s what has to happen. Me trying to get close to her romantically was causing both of us to many headaches. So I took myself out of the picture, for my sake as well as hers. It’s just simpler this way. Besides, if later, maybe in a few years or so, I wanted to try again I can. Maybe when we are both more mature, after we already know each other and stuff, it will work out better. But for now I need to step aside, give Anne her space, and support her as a friend, not support her to be more than that.”

-

“Then what was the kiss about?” Diana asked Anne.

“What?” Anne exclaimed.

“Sorry, what was the not-a-kiss about,” Diana asked again.

“I still don’t know what you mean by that,” Anne said.

“After he totally didn’t kiss you, you pushed him away and yelled at him,” Diana reminded her. “If you like him so much, why push him away?”

“I have no objection with kissing him, it was how he kissed me,” Anne told her dear friend. “He kinda just pushed his lips onto mine, hard. I thought he was the kind of guy to romance a girl, make her feel special like there were fireflies in her soul, kiss her slowly under the full moon as violins played. Instead, what I got was him playing Whack-a-Mole with his face. If he had taken his time, kissed me deliberately instead of accidentally falling onto my lips, I would have probably really enjoyed it. But he didn’t do any of that. I guess I was also kinda mad because he thought I would be the kind of person who liked that sort of kiss. I thought he knew me better. In those few moments after the kiss, I felt so betrayed because I had so many hopes for him, hopes that he could kiss me right and treat me right but instead, well, you know what happened.”

Diana felt for her friend as she finished making all the shapes she wanted with the cookie cutters and put them on the baking sheet.

“Enough of that, now,” Anne said, shaking off all her negative feelings. “Lets get these in the oven.” Anne and Diana took their trays into the kitchen.

-

“So now that you’re only friends with Anne, are you planing on dating anyone else?” Charlie asked Gilbert as he and Moody headed out into the ice with their hockey sticks. The hockey pucks were in the net, as always. Gilbert acted as goalie first, while Charlie and Moody took turns trying to score on him, then he would try and score on them.

“No, I have no plans on seeing anyone else,” Gilbert told them.

-

“Are you planing on dating someone else?” Diana asked. “Now that you’re a free woman and all.”

“I was always a free woman,” Anne informed her as she set the timer to take the cookies out. “Gilbert and I weren’t dating. Even if we weren’t dating, I would have still been a free women. Just because I was considering dating Gilbert does not mean that he owns me.”

“Well, are you considering dating anyone else?” Diana asked again.

“No,” Anne said firmly. “I am not interested in anyone. I don’t think I will be interested in anyone for a while.”

-

Gilbert flopped down on his bed. It was a long day. He played hockey with his friends, then they played video games over cups of hot chocolate. He ate dinner with his dad back home and after dinner they watched hockey together. Well, his dad watched hockey. Gilbert sat next to his dad playing on his phone. He knew that there was a clock on his time with his dad. Two and a half years was a long time in some ways, he could hardly imagine finishing his second year of high school, but it was still so short. He needed to spend time with his dad, even if they were doing different things in the same room. He got up to his room after 9, tired of the full day. There were so many people. He liked people, like spending time with them, but also wanted time alone, to think. It was hard to think with other people in the room. Now he was alone. 

Gilbert took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He knew he couldn’t go to sleep yet. He had homework to do. It was in his backpack, waiting for him. He knew he should go do it. He knew that, but he still couldn’t. He wanted to, but couldn’t. He couldn’t make himself move, he was so comfortable. 

He just lay there on his back, eyes closed, without thinking about anything. He took a moment for himself, asked himself how he was doing, checking in for the first time in a while. He started in his toes. How are you toes? They were really sore, he played a lot of hockey today and it put pressure on them. I’m sorry for that, feet, but thank you because I had a lot of fun. He moved up, slowly. Shins? How are you shins? The right one took a fast puck that caused a bruise but other than that they were good. Knees sore, but no more sore than usual. His femurs were still intact, which he was thankful for. They were the biggest and strongest bone in the body, so having them intact was good. Stomach? Full enough. He had a lot of pizza a few hours ago and he wasn’t hungry. Shoulders were good. He checked in with each arm individual before moving onto his head. Mouth good, eyes good, skull intact. He was good. Not great, not fair, good. 

He took another few breaths, mentally preparing to get up and do his homework. He still didn’t want to. Nonetheless, he sat up on the edge of his bed. He ran his hands through his hair, looking over to where his backpack lay. Dragging his feet, he got up and walked over to it. He reached inside and took out… His phone. He went back to his bed, lying onto of his sheets and turned on some music. He never really talked about this with Charlie and Moody, but he actually had a huge fondness for musicals. Charlie and Moody knew about this fondness, of course, but didn’t share it so they usually stuck to their common interests when they talked. He turned on the music for an semi-obscure off-broadway musical Fugitive Songs. He was in a pensive mood, it seemed appropriate. He looked up at his ceiling, looking for patterns and pictures in the white paint the way his ancestors must have looked for patterns and pictures in the stars. That’s how he spent his evening, laying on his back, breathing, not really thinking about anything in particular.

-

Anne collapsed face first onto her bed, exhausted. After she and Diana finished making cookies, Anne had twice as many chores to do because Marilla wanted a thorough clean of every room before the Christmas rush. Anne could swear she disinfected, polished, cleaned and scrubbed every inch of that house. Not that she was really complaining, new guests were arriving tomorrow. She loved new guests. Marilla already knew everyone arriving, but Anne was meeting them for the first time. In general, it was only the relatives of the people in Avonlea that were there for Christmas. some of Jane’s and Josie’s relatives were arriving tomorrow and Diana’s Great-Aunt was arriving the day after. They would spend Christmas with their family and after that they would be replaced with brand new guests for Christmas Break and New Years. Avonlea did a special New Year’s Eve firework thing so a lot of people come from all over the Island came and some of them stayed over. Basically, the Inn was completely booked for the next two weeks. 

Anne liked cleaning. It gave your mind time to imagine. She made this lovely adventure where Cordelia was sucked into a book one day, and had to live in their world where there was no magic so no way of getting back home to her beloved Edward. She was there six months, living with the beautiful but wicked Princess Victoria and her kinder father King Frederick, when she heard rumours of a far away and very secretive cult that was dedicated to reincarnating the ancient magics. If anyone had a way to get her back, they did so Cordelia set off on a long and perilous journey to find them and reunite with her love, Edward. 

Now, she didn’t want to think about that. She kind of didn’t want to think about anything. She just wanted a few moments to herself, alone, to breath. 

She took a deep breath, then another. She focused on gathering her strength, but also letting go of her pain. She had a bit of back pain from bending over all day. Her feet were sore too. And there was this knot on her left shoulder from where she slept on it funny. She shifted and got onto her elbows so she can try and massage it with her right hand, but it didn’t help. Instead, she tried to focus on her back, seeing if massaging it would help. It didn’t, but it might have just been because Anne didn’t have the right angle. Anne sat up, seeing if that would help. It didn’t. It was times like these Anne wished she were living with Diana because she knew Diana wouldn’t hesitate to help her friend, but she lived too far away to come over just to give a back massage.

Anne fell back onto her bed, and lay there on her stomach. She always slept on her stomach, it was easier to keep food and weapons safe on the street. It was also easier to disguise if you were sleeping or not, a surprisingly useful skill. Now, she liked burying herself in the pillow. It’s always so warm and clean and welcoming. She loved hugging her pillow and imagining that it was a actual person she could hug.

Suddenly, just like that, she was imaging she was Lady Cordelia and that the pillow was her handsome Edward. She has just come back from her quests, and they are lying on her bed, holding each other. Neither of them wants to let go of the other because for the past year the only thing they wanted was each other.

“Please, tell me about how you returned to me,” Edward begs. “I want to hear of your adventure, my love.”

Cordelia starts to tell the tale, detailing how she battled ogres, fairies, and the elements to be with him. She describes the cult, in vivid detail, and described the prophecy they found carved into the wall, detailing the three objects she must retrieve to restore her magic.

-

They drifted off to sleep, together but apart. Neither of them thought of the other one because, you see, they stayed true to their word. They were only friends, nothing more. And you don’t think about your friend while lying in your bed, falling asleep. They dreamed of each other, though. Later that night, they dreamed of each other on no uncertain terms. 

But what do dreams even mean? Can they really be considered windows into the heart the way some people believe them to be? 


	3. Sunday, 21rst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is this? She's actually updating? Yes, I know I update about as often as Jon Cozart but today is two chapters! Yay!

Anne was bored. Church wasn’t that interesting, why did they go every week? They sat in their normal spot, with Anne between Matthew and Marilla. Anne was originally next to Matthew, far from Marilla but she kept fidgeting and doodling in her program instead of paying attention so Marilla made her and Matthew switch so Marilla could keep a closer eye on her. It worked, and Anne didn’t doodle anymore. Instead, she imagined stuff, careful to always look like she was paying attention in case Marilla glanced over.

After seemingly forever, service ended. The Minister reminded everyone that there would be a midnight mass on Christmas eve at 10pm. Anne found it weird that midnight mass was at 10, not midnight like the name implied, but she didn’t complain. Anne didn’t want to have to stay up to midnight just for mass, she liked that it was earlier.

Marilla and Matthew started to walk home. “I have a few more Christmas gifts to get,” Anne told them. “Mind if I get them now?”

“We have to get back to the Inn,” Marilla told her.

“You two head back, I’ll come back when I’m done.” Anne had no problem being on her own.

Marilla considered it. “You’ll come straight home?” Marilla asked.

“Straight home,” Anne promised.  
“Very well, I’ll see you there,” Marilla said, turning to continue on her way home.

“See you at home,” Mathew said, following Marilla but not before giving Anne a goodbye hug.

“Bye,” Anne said, waving as they disappears into the distance.

Anne didn’t have any more presents to buy, but she wanted to explore Avonlea. She loved the town, but saw very little of it because she was usually either at school or at Green Gables, helping out. She walked down Church St., heading for Main St. where all the shops would be. When she got there she took a deep breath, looking up and down the row of shops on either side. She decided to head right. She’d head down this side of Main St., up the other side, before coming back and heading home on Church St. the way she came.

Anne looked at the shops on the right. There was a cafe, a stationary store, a Mexican restaurant. Well, Mexican was a strong word. It was one of those Mexican chains where no one behind the counter was actually Mexican. Anne didn’t like that idea, thought it too close to cultural appropriation. She continued, passing a phone shop and bookstore on her way. She liked the bookstore, liked being in it, being near it. Even thinking about it brought a smile to her face. She walked inside. It was warm, so she undid her coat buttons and took off her hat and scarf. Hat and scarf, she realized, that were both Gilbert’s. She didn’t realize that they Gilbert’s, they were just her favourites so she grabbed them first. She liked the idea of her wearing Gilbert’s stuff, but she stuffed them in her pockets as she browsed the shelves. She was delighted to notice that the bookshelves were really high so they had those moving ladders. The kind that Belle used in the opening number in the bookstore in Beauty and the Beast. She really wanted to climb one and glide down it like Belle did, but she knew she would probably fall off it or break it if she did. Instead, she scanned the highest shelf for a book she might want to read that could be her excuse for climbing the moving ladder. She spotted a copy of Simon vs. The Homo-Sapiens Agenda and remember how strongly Diana recommended it. With great excitement and anticipation she brought the ladder over till it was under the book and started to climb. It was a lot steeper than she first realised, but she was absolutely thrilled. When she got to the top, she took the book and examined it there to give her more time on the ladder. Then she climbed back down with one hand while the other clutched the book.

She purchased it and continued her walk down Main St. There were plenty of shops for her to admire, as well as a few restaurants. In addition to the large number of chains and fast food places, there were also a few pubs, diners and sit down places that offered reasonably good food. Nothing special, but all family-friendly. Anne knew that there was one special restaurant in Avonlea, and that was the fancy haute-cusine french place on College St., one block over. It was the go-to date night place but it was super expensive so it was more for adults than teenagers. Rumour has it that Mr. Phillips was seen leaving the establishment with Prissy Andrews the other day. Mr. Phillips insisted they were just there as colleagues, but no one really believed him. Still, they didn’t want to object and make a big deal out of it for Prissy’s sake.

As Anne continued down her way, she stopped by the craft store. It was owned by the Barnyards, Jerry’s family. She walked in and was greeted with the most wonderful sight. Along one wall there were about a million different colours of yarn, all with different thicknesses and materials. Along the other wall there were a million different fabrics. In the centre, there were tables filled with everything else that you needed: Knitting needles, crochet hooks, and How-To guides were stacked onto one. Patterns, thread, buttons, and sewing needles were stacked onto the other. Anne loved it. She had always liked the idea of sewing or embroidery, but always imagined it belonged in the past with corsets and dragons. Now it was in front of her and she loved it. She flipped through the book of patterns, imagining herself making all of these.

“Puis-je t’aide?” A voice asked Anne. She looked up and found a woman who looked exactly like Jerry, only older. “May I help you?” the woman asked again, with a heavy french accent.

“My name is Anne,” Anne started, but the woman must have heard the stories.

“Jerry’s Anne?” the woman asked, curious.

“Well, I wouldn’t consider myself belonging to anyone but yes, I know Jerry well,” Anne told the woman.

The woman was delighted to hear this and smiled. “Jerry has said stories about you,” the woman informed her. “Je suis son mere,” the woman continued, though Anne didn’t understand a word.

Luckily, a translator had arrived. “Maman,” a voice said from further inside the shop. It was from a young woman who must have been Jerry’s older sister. “I’m sorry for my mother, she doesn’t know to much english.”

“That’s alright,” Anne assured her.

“Mama, vas voir si Suzanne et Marie Claire a besoin d’aide,” the young woman told her mother, sending her off. “Je m’appelle Isabelle,” the woman told Anne.

“Pleasure to meet you, I’m Anne,” she said.

“Are you Jerry’s Anne?” Isabel asked.

“I suppose so,” Anne smiled at Isabelle. She wondered how much Jerry told them about her.

“I could tell by the red hair and the stars in your eyes,” Isabelle told her. “Are you looking for anything in particular?”  
“Not really, just curious,” Anne told her. “I know Marilla knows how to sew and makes repairs on clothes and pillows and the like, but rarely actually makes anything from scratch. I would like to but I’m just a beginner.”

“Well, if you want to we have classes,” Isabelle lead her over to where there was a calendar behind the register. “We have a few levels, the most basic being for people just like yourself who’ve never made anything before. Are you interested in sewing or knitting?”

“Sewing,” Anne responded firmly.

“Well our beginner sewing class meets Thursday afternoons for around 8 weeks. The first class we all pick out a design and we all make it together, everyone using diffrent. My mum or I usually lead the class, but it’s nice to be with other people who are going through the same thing, meeting the same new challenges as you are. It’s our most popular class, some people take it a few times because they still don’t fully understand or have confidence to go out on their own.”

“It sounds nice,” Anne said.

“New classes will start again the second week after the new year starts,” Isabelle informed her. “Take a flyer.”

“Thank you,” Anne said. She took it, looking it over.

“If there’s anything else you need, I’m right over here,” Isabelle went back behind the counter.

Anne knew she wasn’t going to buy anything but she kept browsing anyway because she was imagining all the pretty dresses she could make. There were so many beautiful colours. She loved all the different shades of pink, but knew she could never wear it. She instead focused on all the lovely shades of blue and green. When she was done, she left the store and moved down the street.

Somewhere along the walk, she realised it was going to be suspicious if she were to go home to Green Gables without any bags. Then she remembered that she needed some more shampoo, so she went into Shoppers. It was the big one. There were two other, smaller Shoppers in other parts of the town, but this one was the biggest by far. It had the post office in the back where you pick up packages and stuff.

Anne wandered down the hair care aisle, browsing all the different shampoos she could get. She knew the kind Marilla had, it was plain, basic, and utilitarian. Anne wanted something else, something that would give her hair a nice smell, something that could give it volume or a kick. Anne’s hair was so thin and flat, she always admired people like Diana who had body in their hair. Anne looked at all the different options before eventually deciding on one with a orange slice on the bottle, promising extra volume and strength.

She had what she came for, but wanted to stay. She looked over at the makeup section longingly. She wanted more than anything to cover up her freckles, but didn’t have the first clue how to. Would you use concealer? Foundation? Blush? What even were those things? She had no idea how to start.

“Is there something I can help you with?” the beauty person asked, noticing Anne’s peering.

“No,” Anne said quickly, retreating down the aisle she came from. She didn’t want to or know how to ask for help. She walked back down the hair aisle, looking over at all the different hair dyes. She would give anything to have lovely blond hair, or brown, or black, or any colour besides red. She knew that she could easily buy one of them, but wondered how she could use it. She examined the back cover, but found the instructions to be very daunting. She quickly put the box back, then picked it up again. She figured she could probably manage it with Diana, two heads are better than one in most cases. But how could she do it without Marilla’s knowledge? She knew Marilla didn’t approve. Dyeing your hair was a unnecessary expense, Marilla claimed, and a lifelong one at that. Once you started dyeing you can’t stop, you have to re-dye it every time your roots start to show. Marilla is the only old woman in Avonlea who did not dye her hair, and she expected Anne to maintain the same standard. Still, she supposed Marilla couldn’t object if Anne came home one day with hair of a different colour. Anne would have to to get two dyes. One to dye her hair black, and another to dye her hair red again when her roots start showing.

She picked out a red closest to her own colour., then browsed for a new colour. She considered a nice and rich black that would make her hair close to Diana’s colour. She also looked at a brown and a blond that were equally enjoyable. She weighed her options as a familiar body joined her in the store.

“Tommy,” he yelled, heading straight for the post office. “Give me some good news.”

“There isn’t any news, Gilbert,” Tommy responded with a sigh. “You’ve been in here every day for the past week, I told you I’d call you when it arrived.”

The commotion drew Anne’s attention away from her decision on hair colour. She walked over to the post office section, pleased to observe her classmate.

Gilbert wasn’t so happy. “Please, are you sure it isn’t back there and you just haven’t called yet?”

“No,” Tommy replied, fed up with the stupid teenager.

“Promise you will call me the second it comes in,” Gilbert insisted.

“I will,” Tommy promised.

“The second it comes in,” Gilbert repeated.

“The second it comes in,” Tommy assured him.

“Very well,” Gilbert said, realizing that maybe there isn’t any package back there for him. “Thank you, Tommy,” he said, walking away. He turned away from Tommy and going to exit the store, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw Anne there. “Anne,” he said breathlessly.

“Gil,” she said, not even realizing that she was using the nickname she used over and over in her head in real life for the first time. She was also slightly out of breath.

“I didn’t see you as I came in,” he said finally.

“I was just down that aisle,” Anne said.

“Buying… Hair dye?” Gilbert asked when he saw the boxes she was holding.

“Yeah,” Anne was kinda embarrassed by it now.

“Why do you need that?” Gilbert hoped it could be for Marilla.

“I want to dye my hair,” Anne informed him.   
“You know you have beautiful hair, right?” Gilbert told her.

“It’s just that… Well… I look at Diana, or Josie, or Ruby, or literally anyone else and their hair is always so much nicer than mine. I look up to them so much, their strength and intelligence but also their beauty. I can’t control any of the other stuff, but I can control this.” She motioned to boxes of hair dye.

Gilbert thought carefully, deciding what to say. “Don’t you think that Diana would love to have your hair? Hasn’t she complimented you on it endlessly?”

Anne looked down, “I guess so.”

“I love your hair and Diana does too,” Gilbert reminded her.

“It’s just… My hair has always been a horrible shade of red that made me stick out like a soar thumb. Everyone else is either blond, black, or brunette. I am alone in my uniqueness.”

“But I love how unique you are,” Gilbert objected. “It’s what makes you you and you are amazing. Listen, I can’t tell you what to do, nor do I want you. I just want you to know that you are loved the way you are. Not despite the red hair, because of it. I don’t want to tell you not to change, I know you will and you should, I’m telling you don’t be in a rush to change.”

Gilbert finished his little speech and looked at Anne. She tried to process all this. She thought, leaving Gilbert in an uncomfortable silence. He shifted from one foot to the other, staring at Anne staring at the bottle of hair dye. “I should go,” he said eventually. “See you around.”

“See you around,” Anne said, still deep in thought.

Gilbert nodded. He left the store, leaving Anne alone. He knew when she needed to be left alone to think.

Thinking, Anne wandered back over to the wall of hair dyes. She looked over them again, this time remembering how at one sleepover Diana said she would give anything to have Anne’s hair. She put back the hair dyes, one by one. Then she checked out with the rest of her items and continued on her way.

She window-shopped, going into shops and inspect them and see what they were about but never buying anything. The clerks didn’t mind, she was quiet and respectful towards them, making sure to remember to keep her ongoing monologue internal.

When she arrived back at Church St. she headed home. On her way home, she thought about inside the Shoppers. She put back the hair dyes. Why? Was it because Gilbert had told her to? Had she really become that suggestible? If anyone had told her to put them back, would she have? Without the slightest bit of pushback, would she have obeyed their every suggestion? No, she was sure that if Billy had asked her she would have torn open the package and dyed her hair right then and there, regardless of the colour. Then again, that presented a whole new set of challenges. The fact that she wanted to change to spite someone was also just as problematic as not changing to appease someone. But that was for a later time. Right now, she had to focus on what happened with the dyes.

She supposed that the first question was whether or not she would have out them back for anyone else? Yes. If Matthew or Marilla or Diana had asked her, she would have put it back without hesitation. That brings us to the second question: Did that make her a pushover? On one hand, yes. She would have done what they asked with little to no resistance. Then again, she was sure that if others, like Josie or Ruby or Charlie had suggested the way Gilbert did, she wouldn’t have put it back, instead taking those thoughts into consideration when making her own choice on whether or not to buy the dye. She also wondered why she wanted to buy the dies in the first place, wondering if all that she needed was for someone to tell her she looked pretty. Was she really so hungry for validation? Did she care about what other thought too much? Did she not care what they thought enough? She shook her head, she had no idea what to do anymore. There was this saying that science was not answering any questions, only getting better and better at asking more specific questions. She supposed that was what she was doing, asking more specific questions when all she really wanted was some answers. But did those answers ten exist? She rolled her eyes, promising to not ask anymore questions the rest of her walk home. She distracted herself with some Lady Cordelia instead.

There was one final question, that leaked into her mind but she didn’t want to answer, or even acknowledge: does this mean that she looks to Gilbert as much as she looks to Matthew, Marilla, and Diana? That she loves him as much, cares for him as much, cares about him as much?


	4. Monday, 22nd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to publish this while there was still Pride Month. So here, on the last day, is Josephine giving an oral history of her life. Sorry for the horrible setup, I just really wanted to share the epic back story I created for her and comment on those who say that Cole could never be a non-binary person because it's a historic drama. Screw you, trans!Cole forever!

Anne wiped her forehead with the back of her head as she bent over the sink. She scrubbed clean the toothpaste stain some guest had left. Why did people leave toothpaste marks on the sinks? It was her job to clean the rooms and bathrooms for all the guests while they were away, and she had found soap marks in every room so far, and she was mostly done. There was only one room and bathroom left and it was her favourite. The white room, the honeymoon suite, the one with the Snow Queen in the corner. She loved that room more than anything. It was the biggest, by far, and looking at it when it’s empty it always looked like it belonged to a princess or lady of some sort.

She stepped into the room in reverence. She didn’t step so much as tip toe, careful not to disturb the royal, bordering on godly, energy of the room.

She started with the beds, like always. Anne took off the sheets, throwing them down the laundry chute before grabbing new ones from the laundry basket she brought upstairs. After making the bed, she changed the towels and started dusting. You only did a quick once over if guests were staying there. While she was dusting, she noticed a lovely picture. It was old, black and white. There were two girls in it, in white dresses, smiling at the camera. They looked like two glowing brides with their veils on. Anne wondered if they were getting married.

“What are you doing over there?” said a voice behind her. Anne turned around to find an old ladystanding in the doorway.

“I’m terribly sorry,” Anne said. “It’s such a pretty photo.”

“It’s a personal photo,” the old lady said. “You are here to clean, by the looks of your outfit.”

“Yes,” Anne confirmed. “I’m Anne. Spelled with an e, if you please, it looks much nicer. You must be Josephine Barry. I’m a dear friend of your great-niece Diana and you are just as she described you. This photo,” she turned back to look at it again, it was so pretty and old and fascinating. “That’s you,” Anne pointed to one of the young girls.

“It is,” Josephine said, walking over to the portrait with Anne. “And that’s Emily. That was taken from our wedding day.”

“Really?” Anne was surprised. “I didn’t realize that they legalized gay marriage that soon.”  
“They didn’t,” she said, memories flooding back to her. “But we were young, we didn’t care. We got two white dresses and had a party pledging our love to one another. From that day on, we considered us married, even if the government didn’t.”

“That’s a sweet story,” Anne said.

“Bear in mind, we still fought tooth and nail for the right to do this in city hall,” Josephine continued, she took a seat and Anne settled in front of her, listening as she talked about her past. “We were living in Toronto then, but we did all we could to help the lawyers and lobbyist in Ottawa. When it was finally passed in Ontario, back in 2003, we got married officially. Other provinces joined in, and by 2005 everyone had legalized it that government of Canada had to. Me and Emily cheered when it happened. There was still a long way to go, there still is, but it was a step. An important step too.”

“2003,” Anne thought. “I would have been 5 years old,” she said. I would still have my parents, she thought. “It’s nice to think that for me and a whole bunch of younger kids, we don’t remember a time without gay marriage.”

“It is a nice thought,” Josephine agreed, eyes off in the distance.

“Will Emily be joining you?” Anne asked.

“No. Emily died last year,” Josephine informed her, sadly.

“I’m so sorry,” was all Anne could think to say.

“I haven’t been back to our house in Toronto since,” Josephine said, thinking back to a different time and place. She came back to the room and looked at Anne severely. “Shouldn’t you be cleaning?” she asked.

“Right, of course,” Anne said. “But please tell the story while I work. I love hearing love stories.”

“I suppose it’s been a while since it’s been told, I haven’t had a captive audience in years.” Anne went into the bathroom with her cleaning supplies, and Josephine sat on a chair and started to talk. “I was born in a time when it was not accepted to be in an open, loving relationship with a woman, at least not if you were a woman yourself. Or even if you were a man, since it was almost expected that you beat your wife, and mistreat her in other ways too. I realised that I had no use for boys early on, I realised that I liked girls when I was 13 and kissed my best friend, Charlotte. Charlotte then told my parents and everyone we knew. Everyone was horrified, my parents especially. They made me sit down with a priest, who explained how kissing girls was bad. They were all still living in Charlottetown at this point, in the old family home, but all our business was in automobiles so my father was always traveling. He wasn’t home often, and when he was he was surly and bad-tempered. When I was able to leave for university, I was happy. I started university in 1961. There still wasn't much of an organized community, but you knew where to look you could find those like you. I found my first long term girlfriend then. When I brought her back to family reunions, my parents were not happy. It wasn't so much what they said, so much as how they said it. They called me a lesbian, which was true, but when they said it they weren’t talking about the love I felt for another woman. They said it, as if the act of loving someone was horrible. That it was comparable to murder and genocide. That hate… But I wasn’t a child anymore. I knew that that wasn’t who I was. He might have been consumed with hate, but I was only trying to love.  
Josephine trailed off. “What happened?” Anne asked.

“Me and that first girlfriend eventually broke up, much to the amusement of my family. They were sure that it was “just a phase” so every time I broke up with someone it was viewed as the last girlfriend I’ll ever have. They viewed it as a return to heterosexuality, and write me back into their will. Every time I get a new girlfriend i was cast out and written out of the will. In the late 60s and early 70s I started to become involved in the LGBT community that was forming in Charlottetown. It just so happened that when my father died in the 72, I wasn’t dating anyone at the time and was able to keep my inheritance.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Anne said.

“I’m not. He was a homophobic bastard,” Josephine said sturdily. “I took his money, took it out of oil and cars. I got a house in Toronto and invested in Alberta’s oil sands. Yes, I understand now how catastrophic it was for the environment, which is why I pulled my money out later. after my dad died I moved to Toronto and meet Emily there. We started living together, helping the LGBT scene in Toronto grow. Because I had a lot of money, I was able to open up shelters and groups all over. I started the latest network of LGBT safe spaces in Canada, stretching across Ontario, then onto Quebec, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland and Labrador, and finally back to the Island. I even opened up a shelter in the same house my father kicked me out of for being gay, an irony that probably has my dead dad rolling in his grave.”  
Anne and Josephine shared a laugh at that. “Thank you so much for sharing that,” Anne said.

“Historians refuse to think we exists,” Josephine pondered. “They refuse to think about history asanything other than straight, white, and male. But minorities have always existed. You can’t say that just because you didn’t have words like “bisexual,” “transgender,” and “asexual” doesn't mean they didn’t have people who wanted those terms.”


End file.
